September 30, 2008

 

Throughout the pregnancy of my third child, I dreaded the thought of having to go and stay in hospital to give birth. I knew I wanted more to my birth experience, but I did not think the “more” I was desiring would be available for me being stationed here in the UK. The idea of homebirth had always been in the back of my mind, but after two medicated hospital births I was scared to endure labour without the option of pain relief. However, I knew I wanted to be at home, and I wanted my children present. I didn’t want them to feel shoved aside. I wanted them to feel like they were an important part of the birth. I had a friend who had had two homebirths, and continually asked me throughout my pregnancy if I was going to do a homebirth. I always told her no that I was too scared to give birth without epidural. She always smiled and assured me that if I did have a homebirth, I would never have a hospital birth again. At the time I always thought, yeah right!

When I was about 8 months pregnant, and beginning to dread another hospital, the thought of a homebirth began to consume my thoughts. Around that time, my husband taught a new dads class. One of the dads in the class mentioned that his wife was going to have a homebirth. This perked my husband’s interest, so he began asking questions about how that was arranged. Later that evening, he came home telling me about homebirth.   All weekend I could not get the idea of a homebirth out of my mind. I researched and read so much information on homebirth and midwives that weekend. Finally towards the end of the weekend, I decided to go out on a limb, and email one of the midwives I had come across on the internet. I decided this is what I really wanted for this birth experience. I would never know if it was possible if I didn’t at least try. After this, I phoned my friend who had had homebirths, and asked her loads of questions including who was her midwife. It turns out she had the same midwife I had just emailed earlier that day. All weekend I anxiously checked my email waiting for a response. I was too scared to pick up the phone and call. Finally, Monday afternoon, I got the response I had been waiting for. After I got the email I immediately phoned her back. Honestly, I was preparing myself for rejection, and her harshly questioning why I had waited so long to make this decision. I was pleasantly surprised to find her, not only willing to work me in her schedule, but so very warm and friendly. I talked with Jo and she said she would come by a few days later, so we could meet her, and clearly decide if a homebirth is something my husband and I wanted.

I was so excited in anticipation of Jo’s arrival. After meeting her and talking and asking questions, I knew without a doubt, a homebirth with Jo as the midwife was exactly what I wanted. Now I would have the luxury of being at home, and my children could be present.  I also got in contact with one of Jo’s other American ladies. It was great talking with someone who had been in my position before. Gradually, I could feel my confidence boosting. We decided to book with Jo, and she started coming by every week or so. The boys and I always looked forward to her visits. Jo often let the boys help her in listening to baby’s heartbeat, and checking my blood pressure. I loved that she was so willing to embrace the curiosity of my young children.

We booked with Jo on 1 September, and my due date was 26 September. We had about 30 days to get to know each other more, and boost my confidence in enduring natural childbirth. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted a water birth, so we ordered a birth pool, and all the necessary things that would help provide comfort for me during my labour. I also knew I wanted my labour experience to be very family oriented. I envisioned my favourite Kenny G Christmas music playing softly, low lighting, and the scent of my favourite apple cinnamon candle. I wanted it to feel like Christmas; my favourite time of the year, and the time of year the baby was conceived. I had arranged for a very dear friend from our church to be here with us during my labour to help with the boys. Reno is a very dear woman, whose spirit I was drawn to upon our first meeting a little over a year ago.

Like many women, my due date came and went like any other day. My next appointment with Jo was on 29 September. We decided at that time that she would do a foot massage using rose oil in attempt to naturally get my labour going. Jo massaged specific pressure points on my foot. The massage was very relaxing even if it didn’t get my labour going. That evening we decided to order some curry as well. I slept fine most of the might. Around 4 am, I awoke having mild contractions. This was really nothing new for me, as I had experienced these off and on during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. So I didn’t think much of it until I awoke at 730 and discovered I had lost my plug and was having some bloody show. I phoned Jo and let her know what was going on. She said she would phone back in a few hours to see how things were going. When she phoned back around 9am, the mild contractions had pretty much subsided. She said she would phone back later in the day. I was happy that at least things were starting to happen. I continued to have bloody show, even though I really was not having contractions. 

Around 12:30 my husband phoned and said he was one his way home, so that I could have a little rest. I had not called him and told him I had lost my plug or anything, so he was clueless on the recent events of the day. I heard my husband pull in the drive at 1:30, and at the same time I had a contraction that was a bit stronger than the ones I had experienced earlier. I had to breathe through it, and I found great comfort in leaning up against the wall. My husband walks into our room and finds my breathing through this contraction. He immediately begins asking questions and I’m trying to signal to him to wait until the contraction finishes.  Once it finished, I filled him in on everything. I told him we didn’t need to call Jo until they were 5 minutes apart for at least an hour. From the very first contraction at 1:30, they were coming every 5 minutes. At 2:30 my husband asked if I wanted him to phone Jo. I said no, because I thought I had ages to go. My previous labours had been 12 and 15 hours. I really wasn’t convinced this was actual labour. So we never phoned Jo, she actually ended up phoning me back at about 3pm to see how I was doing. My husband told her I was having contractions 5 minutes apart. I talked to Jo, and couldn’t talk long, because another contraction hit. Jo decided she would come and assess if I was really in labour. Jo arrived about an hour later. During that time, I had hung from the door way and leaned over my birth ball for relief. I had also put on a TENS machine that Jo had let me borrow. I had to focus on breathing through my contractions, but I did feel as if they were manageable, and I was in control.  Jo watched me for awhile, and helped me to the loo a few times before she did an exam. I was 75% effaced and 3-4 cm dilated. I was happy that I was really in labour, although, I still thought I had ages to go. During the exam I had to lie down on my back, which made the contractions feel so much worse. No wonder I had epidurals in the hospital. Close to 6pm I wanted to get in the pool.   My husband was pretty much finished filling it up. Jo thought I should wait a bit, so she offered to do a back massage. That was great! After that she unhooked the TENS machine, and helped me walk downstairs to get in the pool, which we set up in our dining room. It felt good to walk a bit. When a contraction came Jo encouraged me to rock back and forth. That helped too. It was wonderful to be so mobile during me labour. I had never experienced labour like this before.

Once I got in the pool my labour immediately intensified. 

My contractions were lasting 3-4 minutes with multiple peaks. I found myself making a lot of noise. It felt great! It was almost like I had to be louder than the contractions. After a while of this I was getting tired. The contractions were getting hard to manage, and I shook my head and said I can’t do this anymore. I knew I didn’t want to go to the hospital, but I just wanted it to be over. I really thought I had to endure this for many more hours, because I thought I had long labours.   My husband and Jo kept reassuring me that I could do this. Then my contractions stopped for a little bit. What a welcome relief that was!! During this time I asked Jo if I was almost finished. She said if you don’t have the baby in a little while, we’ll check things out....meaning another exam. All along, Jo knew I was getting close to the end.

After a few moments of rest, my contractions picked back up. They were stronger, but felt different. I thought I had to throw up, but nothing was coming. I was feeling kind of pushy, but didn’t push, because I didn’t know if I should yet. Jo advised me to just breathe through the contractions as best I could. My husband thought maybe I should try the gas and air. That really helped relax me, because at that point I was beginning to feel like a mad animal ready to tear up the birth pool. I was doing fine breathing with that, then all of a sudden my body just took over, and I dropped the mouth piece and began grunting and pushing like never before. This was a totally new feeling to me, as I had never pushed out my other children. They both were eventually vacuumed out. By this time Jo had moved behind me and was watching with a flash light. I picked up the mouth piece for the gas and air again and began to breathe deeply. I then felt a burning sensation as the head crowned. Jo told me not to push to just breathe so the head could be born nice and slowly. At this time my husband is yelling for our two sons, so they could come see the baby be born. They came in just in time. Moments after they arrived in the room, their new baby brother, Elijah Christian was born. I was in disbelief that I had endured natural childbirth and that it happened so quickly. It was 739 pm. Only 3 ½ hours after Jo arrived. My fastest labour yet!!

I was in such awe to finally hold this baby whom we had affectionately named Smooch since finding out about the pregnancy. He was perfect. He didn’t cry he was just looking around. As a matter of fact, he was up a whole 4 hours after this birth looking around.  I think he knew he was at home.

His cord was short, because I couldn’t even pull him up to my breast to nurse him. Jo decided it was best to cut the cord and get me out of the pool, because I began losing a lot of blood very quickly. Jo got me out and gave me an injection to facilitate the delivery of the placenta, which happened moments later. She then checked for any tears; only a small superficial tear that didn’t need any stitches. Yippee!!

I then went and sat on the couch and cuddled my new baby.  It was wonderful to be at home. My older boys were there to see and experience the birth. So they felt very much a part of the whole experience. They were not shoved aside; they were very much in the midst. Now I can confidently say I will never have hospital births again unless absolutely necessary.